We are blessed to have a free spirited community here at OhBar, where we can grab a shot of espresso and discuss anything from skin positivity to early botox injections. We have touched upon juicy products in female health before, but we have been fascinated by the correlation between masturbation and the luminescent, beauty glow for quite some time. We finally spoke to girls from the most hype sex toy brands and got an insightful expertise we are thrilled to share with you.
Why The Blush
From being burned on a stake for expressing female sexuality (the witch hunts are perfect examples) to open discussions on orgasm equality (think recent books like Girls and Sex by Peggy Orenstein or best sellers like Naomi Wolf’s Vagina), some still blush at the topic. Not to mention, the teachings on projected sexuality (vs. true confidence) and the importance of navigating the sexual pleasure of your partner before your own (this was widely popular in ‘female’ courses and books not so long ago).
When we spoke to Aurelie, co-founder of YSpot, a platform that sells intimacy products and explores sexual wellness, she puts it quite bluntly: “Masturbation and orgasms are deeply linked. A recent study has found that, on average, women orgasm solo 80% of the time versus only 65% with a partner.” Meaning it is time to revise the condiments of your bedside drawer and get to work. “There is definitely a stigma attached to sex toys still, and that is precisely why we felt deeply passionate about the topic and decided to start YSpot. There is a conversation happening powered by a new wave of feminists and sexual wellness is one of the area that can benefit from it the most.”
Another discourse deemed ‘shameful’ is on the contrary, the incapability to reach orgasm at all. Growing up in households where sex was a taboo topic, social inflicted stigma, depression, anxiety, tensed lifestyle, medications or surgery can all be factors. While 98% of men can reach orgasm with (penetrated) sexual intercourse, 75% of women require extra help (toys, masturbation, oral stimulation etc.).
So before we dive in, one thing must be made clear: the only blush you are allowed to get is from a high quality, legit, healthy orgasm.
Juicy Benefits
There is no doubt that benefits are endless: masturbation can come like a convenient asset to your skincare regiment, supplements and mental health check. Eleonora, one of the spear heads in online sex education along with erotic boutique Wovo (and its founder Frida Affer) has pointed out several merits to us when asked about the advantages it can easily bring into our lives.
“Masturbation is one of the best treats you can give to your body (For free! Alone! How amazing is this?!) The benefits are plenty. It can even be a way to manage menstrual cramps and headaches! Basically, masturbation can help you to relax or even boost your day when you are stressed.” Eleonora points out that many benefits are personal and everyone is different, and that it is an ‘embodiment practice where you reconnect breath and body’ to achieve almost a meditative state.
In our own lives, we have noticed that the most skin glow we get is during the holidays: when stress is at bay, fresh air is a constant and sex is not rushed (or spoiled by lack of sleep, or again, stress). Masturbation can be incorporated like a little touch of vacation season: rewiring your brain from ‘flight or fight’ into ‘rest and digest’ (insert orgasm) mode.
“The orgasm glow is real,” says Ariele, “it (the glow) has got to do with the increased blood flow that gives that inimitable flushed look as well as the release of oxytocin, which can in turn lead to better collagen synthesis. It’s also a great way to release stress and relax, which works wonders with everything from sleep to migraines.”
On top of all that, you could simply glow from the empowerment and liberation, the sexual freedom can offer. Aurelie points out that “pleasure is a key aspect of female empowerment, and normalising masturbation and the use of sex toys is probably the best tool to achieve it.” She believes that with access to resources and information, with the right digital platforms, we could discuss and move forward, with all the sex-positive voices involved in this shift.
Myths
From addictions to inability to reach orgasm with a partner, we have asked Eleonora if the beautiful glow worth the chase:
“There are so many myths that surround this topic. All of them creating a sense of guilt and fear connected to a practice that is creating a healthy relationship between you and the pleasure function of your genitals. The onIy accurate topic that can be applied with caution is that masturbation can become an addictive practice, especially if it is connected to porn, when it becomes the only escape strategy for you and it degrades your social life.”
Aurelie then reassured us about the fear of being disconnected with your partner, if masturbation becomes an easier way to reach climax:
“One of the biggest and most harmful myths I would say is the belief that masturbation is only relevant to single people. Having a fulfilling sex life with one or more partners should never preclude from masturbating, and the more women get to master their pleasure on their own, the more likely they are to climax during intercourse. It really is about learning how to love yourself and truly getting to know how your body works.”
By Masha Nova